Self Love is the Key to Success
Self love as a key to success
Self love can have negative connotations. It sounds an awful lot like “selfish,” and we all know that is not a good thing. But consider self love as a key to your personal success. For example, at its most basic level, taking a daily shower and putting on freshly laundered clothes is a form of self love. The opposite extreme, not showering, and wearing unclean clothes, appears to be a form of self loathing. It’s also a really good way to get overlooked for promotions, and alienate friends and family.
Taking baby steps – being mindful
What do I mean by “being mindful?” Simple. And not so simple all at once. Being mindful is about being present in the moment. Rather than spinning out hypothetical scenarios in your head about how you’re going to confront your boss, deal with a difficult co-worker, or plan a surprise party while you are in the shower, just be. Just be in the shower. Enjoy the luxury of having a shower.
One critical component to self love is the act of acknowledging that you are giving yourself love. The next time you stand in your shower, take a moment to appreciate the hot water. Pause and inhale deeply. Enjoy the smell of your shower wash or soap. As you dry off, enjoy the towel’s feel against your skin. Acknowledge to yourself your very presence. Be mindful.
As you step back into your bedroom, put on clean clothes. Keep your mind on the present moment. Enjoy the feeling of the clean clothes against your skin. And take a moment to be grateful for what you have – even on days that you’re terrified. You are in charge of your thoughts.
Taking toddler steps – you are in charge of your thoughts
Being in charge of your thoughts means that you – and only you, can decide what you are thinking at any given moment. Spinning hypothetical dramas in your head is not a productive use of your time. Nor is it particularly loving to yourself. Similarly, spending time reliving past events in painful detail, thinking of ways you could have responded differently, or someone else should have responded differently, is neither productive nor loving. It also contributes precisely nothing to changing that past event.
Instead, consciously take a moment to focus on positive thoughts. In your journey to recognize and give yourself love, send positive messages of love and acceptance. You are a person of value.
Taking even more steps – taking action
Your thoughts and your approach matter. When things loom, things like potential failures, taking a firm hand is critical to your success. Some people call it, “adult-ing.” Basically, the idea is, figure out where things are not going well in your life, and then rewrite the script. You can think, “I’m never going to make it through this class,” and you will undoubtedly feel bad about yourself. You will also probably continue to do as poorly in the class as you are at the present time.
Self care includes positive thought and positive action. If the truth is you are struggling in that class, the loving thing you can do for yourself is to reach out to your professor or finding a tutor. Self care says, “I’m a smart woman. I’m not understanding this class right now, so I’m going to have to do something different. What tools are available to me to address this?”
What brings you joy?
Take a moment to consider what brings you joy. A clean kitchen? A fresh manicure? A brisk walk? There are dozens of low cost or no cost ways you can lift your own spirits. Identify two or three activities and incorporate them in your daily life. Actively identifying and incorporating “me time” into your schedule will lift your mood. This will extend to the way people perceive you and the way other people treat you.
Others will take notice
“The more I give to myself, the more people see who I really am and the more I succeed,” says Melissa Rodriguez, confidence coach. Taking steps to love yourself enhances your better self. People won’t be able to help but notice your steps. This can advance your career path, it can make you a better parent, it can make you a better lover. Success, in all aspects of your life, stem from your love of self.