My Mind Is Preoccupied With the Past
Lesson 8 of A Course in Miracles
Today was the first day that started to get difficult for me. My motivation has waned a bit, and while a saw some massive shifts in the first few days, I don't really feel like much has changed in the last 2 or 3 days. The lessons have also gone up to five minutes, not that that is really a problem, but it's not quite as simple as before.
However, I told myself that this time I am committed to following through and completing the course, and so I followed the instructions included in lesson eight of A Course in Miracles. Which was to notice all the things I "seem" to be thinking about, and then say my mind is consumed with thoughts of the past.
If I remember correctly, this is around the same time I gave up last year, but this year is going to be different! Yes it is. Because I've cut back on a lot of my goals. After spending most of the summer severely depressed and trying to numb out with work, I've narrowed down my focus at least for the rest of 2016 to just three goals, two of which are to continue podcasting and to continue A Course in Miracles.
I know that I'll do more with my life in the next 3 and a half months, but all of those things are secondary, which means that it's nearly impossible to convince myself that it would be ok to skip a day. I did lose a week of the podcast in August because I accidentally deleted the interview- which was horrible and embarrassing- and I did cut back to three days a week instead of five for my sanity, but besides that I have been putting out episodes every day that I said I would. A huge part of the reasoning behind that is that I feel accountable to my guests- they took the time to talk to me and share their story with all of us, and so I feel I owe it to them to put the podcast out on time.
In A Course in Miracles, I'm only accountable to myself.