I’m Not Upset for the Reason I Think
Lesson Five in A Course in Miracles starts out as something of a gag... I'm not upset for the reason I think. So to me that means my feelings do not mean what I think they mean? Well, what do you think they mean? I'm not sure, but I know they don't mean what I think they mean. I'm not a comedy writer, but I think you get my point.
The idea though is so unsettling that when I found myself indulging in some darker emotions and lesson five popped into my head, I did stop to consider the craziness that my life has become. And I suppose that is the point, to make me realize that my life, as directed by my ego, is insane.
Another thought that came up for me today, not through reading lesson five, but through reading the text, is that everyone in my life is my mirror. The things I see in them, good or bad, I see in myself. Which is pretty awesome when I think something good about someone, but not that great when I find myself judgmental or thinking attacking thoughts.
It is seriously trippy when first I think something judgmental about someone I'm probably just jealous of, then think well, if I'm thinking that judgmental thought about her I also see it in myself, then to contemplate how that feature is showing up in my own life and get upset, and then finally lesson five kicks in and I say to myself that what I'm not upset about all of this for the reason I think...
I am waaaay ready for the next step in A Course in Miracles, because right now I feel like all the furniture in my house is up on the ceiling. In any case, I'm getting a lot better at noticing the ways that I'm blocking miracles in my life, so that's good :)
And another thing that is really fascinating to me is now I see the principles I'm learning and reading about in ACIM showing up in other ways in my life... I'm noticing it in the messages of other people who I know aren't studying the course, and even seeing concepts in television shows (though now that I say that I can't remember the exact moment that happened, I'll have to start taking notes!)
If you want to see my spiritual evolution, short as it is, and where I was on day one compared to now with lesson five, you can read the first entry here.