Keeping your heart bucket full
Keeping your heart bucket full so that you can give love to others
“To me, in a nutshell, self love is when one can experience freedom and love. When you experience that, then you are more able to promote and give others the same thing. Freedom and love. I think it goes hand in hand. When your bucket is full, when you take good care of yourself and you are grounded – your heart bucket is full. Then it will just overflow and you won’t have a problem or regret from giving the love to others. Regardless of who they are and what they are. That outflow can come out of you freely for you to promote that towards others.” Moj Razmi, mindset shifter.
What is a heart bucket?
A little over ten years ago, the world was introduced to the dipper and bucket theory. This theory postulates that every person on the planet has both an imaginary dipper and an imaginary bucket. Each time we interact with others, there is a dipper and bucket transaction. When we interact with another and provide positive interaction, we are using our dipper to fill that person’s bucket. As we fill their bucket, we also fill our own. Conversely, where we have negative interactions with others, we are using our dipper to take from their bucket. This does not, however, add to our own bucket, but rather, lessens it. Each interaction is another opportunity to fill or take from ourselves and each other.
What are ways to consciously and deliberately fill our buckets?
Keeping your bucket full, happily, is not solely dependent on the actions and words of others. Yes, others can fill our buckets, but we also have the power to fill our buckets. By actively seeking opportunities to make interactions with others positive, we fill our own buckets. This is critical, of course, when interacting with our children, our spouses, our loved ones. But it doesn’t stop there. Have you ever had a stranger compliment you on your outfit? Your hair? Ever been told that you are totally rocking those glasses? Recall how that made you feel. It puts a bounce in your step and a smile on your face. That’s because they helped fill your bucket. And in turn, filled their own. Never miss an opportunity to compliment another human being. You have no idea what they are going through. But it's pretty certain that no matter how fantastic their day is going, filling their bucket more will undoubtedly make their day even more fantastic. And let’s face it. Not everyone is having a good day – regardless of how they present themselves publicly. This bucket filling is a gift – to them and to you.
What are ways to take from buckets?
There are obvious ways, of course. Like saying to your teenage daughter, “Are you really planning on wearing that to school?” That’s a sure fire bucket taker. Nothing good can come from that question. But another way we take from buckets is by not acknowledging the humanness in our fellow man. Ignoring the souls around us is taking from their buckets, and our own.
How do I convert a bucket taker moment into a bucket filler moment?
Taking from buckets and filling buckets can sometimes both be accomplished, in which case, you should always choose to fill the bucket. For example, rather than asking your teenage daughter, “Are you really planning on wearing that to school?” consider another approach. How about, “Honey, you are so pretty in that green sweater. And it’s going to be a bit colder today. Can I go fetch it for you?” When a co-worker asks for feedback at work, you have the choice of saying, “Your PowerPoint skills really suck.” Or, you could say, “I really liked the message, but I thought the PowerPoint slides detracted from it. I could show you some tricks that will make the background easier on the eyes so that your message shines through.”
Keeping your heart bucket full as a gift of self love and self care
By actively seeking opportunities to fill others’ buckets, you are filling your own bucket. Keeping your bucket full as a proactive way to exercise self love and self care. Acting from a place of lack is never a good feeling. Taking from others’ buckets takes from our buckets. When we are acting from a place of abundance, with full buckets, we can spread joy to others, as well as be calm in the knowledge that we are enough.