I Have Given Everything I See Meaning
Day Two of A Course in Miracles
Today was a bit of a weird day, on the one hand I'm still feeling really good about how I'm feeling, but on the other hand my ego has trained me to constantly be thinking about what's next...
I use that particular brand of busy as an avoidance mechanism, and today I was able to witness it clearly and think it through for the very first day.
According to A Course in Miracles, this panic I was feeling about what next, what next, what next, had to be coming from my ego because my mind knows there is no such thing as fear. But why?
My first thought was just pure destruction. The ego like to destroy us, it builds us up to break us down. But then I realized that my ego had just done a very, very tricky thing. It pretended it was on my side…
Yes, learn about A Course in Miracles, yes, grow your spiritual practice, follow thought leaders, yes, go and go and go and do and do and do and don’t’ stop learning… and it overwhelmed me. It drove me into a panic.
If I hadn’t noticed what it was doing this could have gone two ways. First, I might have eventually gotten so overwhelmed that I stopped studying A Course in Miracles altogether, and this has certainly happened on projects in the past. The second outcome could have been that I continued to consume information without learning it. I’d be so busy listening to every talk I could and reading everything I could get my hands on that I wouldn’t have time to reflect, and so the lessons wouldn’t really sink in.
Thankfully, my inner guide led me to witness and surrender, and showed me the truth of what my ego was up to. I was able to slow it down and look at it without judgment and see what was really going on.
As for the day two exercise in A Course in Miracles Workbook, which you can get here, it was really interesting. It grew directly from yesterday’s practice. I looked around my room at all the things and said that all the meaning they had for me, I had given them.
This has been on my mind all day. Looking at things like books and artwork and myself and wondering what meaning have I given them, and more importantly, do I like this meaning? Is this meaning in alignment with my inner truth? I don’t have an answer yet, but it’s definitely an inner dialogue that is intriguing.