068 Thinking Differently, Interview with Kristy Jones
After the loss of a loved one, Kristy Jones re-evaluated her life. Taking a leap of faith, she left her corporate banking job to do “something different,” helping others find balance in their lives.
Read the full interview transcript
Kristy J Jones: Hi this is Kristy Jane Jones and I'm a business coach. This is juststaycurious.
Gillian Rose: All right dreamers. It's time to get curious. Today we're talking to Kristy Jones an inspiring woman sharing her story with us today. Kristy helps high performing women achieve time and financial freedom. Her corporate banking and strategic planning skills allow her to guide clients down a path that promotes growth and diversity in the marketplace. Kristy spent 15 years in various financial institutions working with a number of different business owners. All right Kristy, so we know a little bit about what it is that you do professionally, but if you don't mind, take one or two minutes and fill us in and give us a little bit more details of how you got to this point Now in your life.
Kristy J Jones: Sure. Thank you. I actually was it's about two years ago and I got to the point where I was just sick. I was overwhelmed, and I wanted some change and I had already been through a health coach school program. And I just really wanted to go ahead and get to the point where I was living like my life like the way that I really wanted it. Instead of feeling like I lived in a rat race and that's kind of a felt like. I would go to work. I would go home do the same thing. I'd come home next day and go to work. I did the same thing. I come all weekend I would go ahead and actually sleep that was kind of my recovery time period. And it was something that I just noticed that this pattern just kept continuing. And I was going to health coach school thinking that that would be, you know, something that I would be able to go ahead and, you know, fix or change the life that I was actually leading. And, lo and behold, a couple of years later about 15 months later or so from when I started in health coach school, I had a situation that I had actually moved down to Chicago and my brother in law's mom passed away. And it was an unfortunate circumstance. We obviously still missed her. But she left such a legacy and sitting at her funeral I got to thinking, I was like, what am I doing. Like what am I doing with my life. And the impact that she left and the impact that she had I think on many of us just got me thinking about how I wanted to go ahead and live my life and what I needed to go ahead and do and make some changes. And that's what I really was like, you know what, this isn't what I want to do anymore. I've had great success. I think it's run its course and I'm ready to go ahead and take a leap, and do some things that ultimately some people might think, oh my gosh why would she go do something like that. But I left my corporate banking job, you know six figures and a salary and bonus and health insurance, and it was like, you know what, I want to go ahead and do something different. I already graduated from health coach school. (I) wanted to go down the path of helping other individuals find balance in their life, because I certainly didn't have any. And I wanted to go ahead and impact individuals to go ahead and figure out what they wanted to go what to do with their life. And it's led me down a path of being an entrepreneur. And it's not easy but I wouldn't change anything. And it's all been learning and it's all been growing.
Gillian Rose: You had a lot of twists and turns on your path to get here.
Kristy J Jones: UmHmm.
Gillian Rose: So in this pursuit of finding your dream life, your life living with purpose, what was your biggest obstacle or low point during that journey?
Kristy J Jones: I think there's a lot of fear and fear can be made up of a number of different things. You know, a fear of not knowing you know that you're going to have that safety and security. Because coming from a corporate job, you actually have something that's you know every week, every other week you get some stability and you have something coming in. There was there was a money fear. There's fear of judgment, you know, around what you're actually doing and what you're trying to accomplish. And are people going to look at me funny, you know, or are they going to judge me based on what I want to go ahead and do. And there's just a lot of growing that comes from that. And I think in anything, there is fear in anything that we actually do. And it's just all in how we go ahead and control that in getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. And I think that's really been my biggest learning experience. And being able to really be honest with myself and trusting myself that I'm on the right path. That I've made this decision. And looking back I'm, like OK, it's growing. This is where I'm growing this is what I'm doing. Yes, there's going to be some fear of what's going to be involved. But for me to go I had and grow, and just to trust myself.
Gillian Rose: Can you recall. Sorry.
Kristy J Jones: That's been a really big learning experience.
Gillian Rose: Can you recall, like one particular moment where all of these fears really compounded and you really had to, you know, have that fight or flight moment? Can you recall one particular scenario and walk us through that?
Kristy J Jones: [Sure. Yes. In August I had actually been making some adjustments to my business, some service offerings, and we go through this period of transition. And a friend of mine had come and I had the opportunity to go ahead and spend the summer living at my parents lake house. They were, you know, nice enough to go ahead and allow me to stay there. And I had a friend come from where I lived before and we were riding in the car. And I asked her, I said "How do you deal with fear"? And her response to me was "I pray on it". Well, I was like, that's not really what I'm looking for. And you know I am a spiritual kind of person. And, you know, that that's already been in my tool box. But I was looking for something different and there was so much fear around. Am I doing the right thing? Am I going to make any money? Should I just get a job? Like, should I just bagged this whole thing? And when I asked that question, I thought to myself, Ok it's time for you to go ahead and figure out what it is, you know. Yeah, you're going through this adjustment but is this something that you really want to go ahead and do going forward. Like either yes or no. You know really examine that. And, you know, you get through that fear, and I think I was really looking from her was some empathy. I was looking for somebody to understand where I'm coming from. And surrounding yourself, having that inner circle, having a coach, having that, those people, umm, your tribe, to really understand exactly what you're coming, you what you're going through. And having people go before you, to be able to go ahead and pave the way and hold your hand, I think is really important. And that was that was my biggest learning.
Gillian Rose: And were you able to reframe your question and get that empathy from her?
Kristy J Jones: I got the empathy from someone else. And that was a learning experience for me to go ahead and realize, she gives me something else, she gives me a friendship. But I get that empathy, I get that inner circle that support system elsewhere. I'm asking for the wrong things from the wrong people. So being able to go ahead and find the right people to help me with that is key.
Gillian Rose: And, umm, as far as the self care aspects of this, how does that fit into, I think this would fall into it under social self-care. And how does that really work that you know who to ask what from? I don't know not to say that sentence. How do you know who to ask what their strengths are, I guess?
Kristy J Jones: When I think it's identifying what it is that you need, you know, for me self-care comes in a number of different ways that could come from you know a social outlet. She would be very appropriate for that social outlet. But those intimate details of your business, having somebody in your corner, be able to go ahead and share with somebody who, you know, who's experiencing similar things with you, are able to go ahead and identify, who you can go ahead and actually reach out to. But, you know, just knowing that that self-care piece, being able to take care of yourself socially, being able to go ahead and be friends with a wide variety of different people that allow you to grow and learn things, I think is really important.
Gillian Rose: And for anyone listening who is struggling because some people are entrepreneurs and some people are not. So we probably have people from both sides of the spectrum listening. What advice do you have to strengthen this skill?
Kristy J Jones: I think it's getting outside your comfort zone a little bit. And just knowing, you know, what your strengths are. For instance, like are you an extrovert? Are you an introvert? And being able to, for me I'm an extrovert, so being able to go out and do things that like you said strengthen that muscle. Going to places that I would not normally go, or doing things, you know, networking or meet ups or social gatherings things like that. Getting outside my comfort zone would be able to go ahead and actually strengthen that message. And if you're an introvert, you know ,that would be that would look something a little bit different. That might be doing some of those things and giving yourself that recovery time period afterwards.
Gillian Rose: Yeah. I do like that for looking into what we can strengthen and what we already have inside of us and honoring that. OK Kristy, so let's go ahead and transition. So like we learned a lot about fear and how to you know overcome it. Can you talk about, like an aha moment, a moment of clarity, something that happened that pushed you forward?.
Kristy J Jones: Hmm. Something that pushed me forward! I think it was something that, umm, was able to actually be in, umm, it's kind of combining my corporate life with being an entrepreneur. And looking at situations that, you know, were happening in my corporate life and being able to, umm, identify that I wasn't willing to go ahead and tolerate that anymore. I was working for a culturally employee centric environment. But they were asking for a lot more than what a relatively new employee was what could have known to give. And that was kind of like my "aha moment" of realizing that, you know what, this isn't what I want to go ahead and do for the rest of my life. And that was, that was back in May of last year and realizing that I need to go ahead and make some changes. Because if I don't do something now, I need to go ahead and make some adjustment later on. I had transitioned to this new bank, new place to live. But the same things were actually occurring. That it was kind of like taking a back one backpack with me, and like moving the backpack from one location to the next location. But I was still carrying everything that I held in the backpack to that new location. Nothing was different! I just changed, I just changed locations. And I realized I needed to go ahead and make some adjustments and start unloading some things. And when I started unloading some things, I was able to recognize, wow there's actually gold in there.
Gillian Rose: That is remind me of the quote "Wherever you go, there you are". And I think that this is something a lot of people can relate to whether I personally have moved from New Mexico to Connecticut to Spain to New York. Like, trying to run and then found out, I, I am here, wherever it is. And so.
Kristy J Jones: And take everything with me.
Gillian Rose: Yes.
Kristy J Jones: You have been to all those different places. You yourself, if you don't fix those things internally, you just carry them along what you.
Gillian Rose: Exactly. And can you, how did you unpack? Because it's kind of hard to put something, like it's easy to put it into a metaphor, like if it's in a backpack or a suitcase and we drag it around with us. But what kind of tools or processes did you use to unpack these things, these ideas?
Kristy J Jones: I have done a lot of things. And when I started my entrepreneurial journey, I thought I have a great mindset. Like I'm really successful. I've been with those successful. This is funny! But I left my corporate job and was stuck, you know, for a period of time. And I hired a coach. I hired a marketing coach to go ahead and help me. I hired a business coach. And these individuals, and the next thing that I went through was some journaling exercises. And I hired a mindset coach to work with me because I knew that that was something either whether somebody is a business or whether somebody is an entrepreneur; those things, those mindsets, I don't know to say, issues; but those mindset things that come up for us, you know, our doubts and limited beliefs, they are there regardless of who you are. And I was still carrying some of those with me. And I needed to go ahead and overcome that. So whether the journaling, and you know, looking at my. I went to a landmark, I think it's landmark International. And I started to examine some of the stories that I was telling myself. And I wanted to go and I this is one of exercises that I do with my clients as well. But I actually go ahead and examine the story. And regardless of if it's true or not, I go ahead and look to see how I can go ahead and rewrite that story.
Gillian Rose: Umhmm
Kristy J Jones: So how can I go ahead and move forward. Recognize maybe the limiting belief and then being able to go ahead and move forward and rewrite my story. I had a devastating divorce, umm, several years ago and that was one of those rewritten stories, you know, I had looked at a situation where it happened. And I shared in confidence with someone that I trust something that had been going through that story that has been going through my head. And she was like "really! Like do you really honestly think that you would have stayed together despite the issues that were there?" And, like when I, when I approach that subject and like really examined it from the outside looking in, I was like "wow! I can go to him now let that guilt, that shame, those things go and then be able to go I had to rewrite my story going forward." So that's one of the biggest keys that I found has really helped me. Umm, MLP, umm, is very very it. It's the reprogramming really of your brain and how your brain and your subconscious work. And being, and being able to identify your thoughts, what your subconscious is telling you and all the things that you actually learn over the course of time. Being able to recognize how that's benefiting you going forward and how maybe it's not benefiting you and being able to go ahead and make those adjustments. Being consciously aware of what you do and how you say things and what you what you do in life has certain consequences to it. And that's kind of like, I use that metaphor, being able to unpack that baggage, that's part of unpacking that baggage. Being able to be aware of what's actually inside that backpack. Pulling it, out examining it, and going "uh, no, that's not serving me. Let's go ahead and leave that on the side of the road.
Gillian Rose: Hmm.
Kristy J Jones: And then pulling something else out and going "oh yeah, that's gold. That's going to go ahead and serve me. I think go ahead and carry that around.
Gillian Rose: Yeah, I think you brought up something so important is that sometimes things that we are afraid of looking at contained gold. Right. Or sometimes we surprise ourselves when we look at what it is that we're avoiding or just like stuffed away and are in our backpacks.
Kristy J Jones: There's so much guilt so much shame that we carry it around. It's been ingrained in us, in our belief system. That we don't necessarily know What's right what's wrong. Oh my gosh that's gold and something like that's who we are. And that's how we were made. That's what makes us unique.
Gillian Rose: All right Kristy it's time for our daily insights. The Q&A part of the show. Sounds good?
Kristy J Jones: Sounds great.
Gillian Rose: Why do you think self-love is important?
Kristy J Jones: Self-love is I think is really important. Umm. Regardless of who you are or what you do. It's about who, it's about accepting ourselves. And it's the basis of Mankind. And being able to go ahead and you can't give from an empty heart. And if your heart is full you're able to go ahead and give more. And I think self-love is just a way of being able to go ahead and fill yourself up.
Gillian Rose: What was the one thing that was holding you back from accepting self-love?
Kristy J Jones: I think there's been a lot of, you know, I have such high expectations for myself. And I like them, the idea, I've been using the hash tag, umm sure I did it right. Grace over guilt and giving myself more grace and being able to go ahead and give myself less guilt, to be able to go ahead and move forward.
Gillian Rose: Who is one person who has changed your life for the better?
Kristy J Jones: One person!
Gillian Rose: Yup
Kristy J Jones: Umm. This actually makes me cry because there's been multiple people. But I would have to say my dad. And, umm, I never thought I wouldn have an adult like the kind of adult relationships that I have with my dad now. If you'd asked me a year ago two years ago, it was fraught with, he always, he's always loved us. But, there's been a lot of healing that happens to recognize that he'd do anything for us. And that's kind of where that guilt, that grace over guilt comes in. Like he's carried a lot of guilt and I have to give him a lot of grace. Because he's human just like I am. We all make mistakes. And to be able to know and to see the changes that he has made in his life, and to appreciate that. Like I just have a lot of respect for that. Because it hasn't always been easy.
Gillian Rose: I think a lot of people can relate to that parental relationship and thank you for sharing this part of it because that's something very beautiful that you have now.
Kristy J Jones: Yeah.
Gillian Rose: What is the best advice you've ever received?
Kristy J Jones: Oh wow! Umm, I'm a really big fan of, umm, Brené Brown. And in one of her books she talks, I'm hoping I'm going to get it right, umm, but she talks about just being uncomfortable, umm, in being vulnerable with people and being able to go ahead and be authentic. And I just respect that so much and to be able to go ahead and realize 'no' is a complete sentence.
Gillian Rose: Hmm, can you share with us a self-care habit that you practice regularly?
Kristy J Jones: Yes. I go to bed at a certain time and I wake up at a certain time each morning. I'm usually in bed by 11. I'm usually awake by 7. 7 ,7:30 at the latest. I get up. I actually do my reading, whether it be your Bible reading or devotional and then I go ahead and spend, you know, five to 10 minutes journaling. But it's getting whatever is in my head, outside of my head. Being able to go ahead and release that. That's something I'm more of a verbal processor. Being able to go ahead and say things aloud or being able to go ahead and write things and being able to get them out, out from inside my head that allows me to go ahead and release a lot of, you know, stress or things that are troubling me. And I've done that actually for years and years and years. And I find when I don't do that, umm, and I kind of get off that path, things don't seem to go good, umm, the easiest. Umm, and it just seems to come back to me. And I can think of times where I did it early early early on in my career and have gone, have left it come back to it and obviously really now use it because that's been a practice, it's obviously worked for me in the past. But just having, you know, regular bed time, being able to get up in the morning at a regular time, consistent time, that your body is actually is resting. And then you're able to go ahead and do some reading and then you're able to go out and do some journaling.
Gillian Rose: What is your favorite quote?
Kristy J Jones: Umm. I actually have this on my desk, "An original is hard to find but easy to recognize."
Gillian Rose: I like that. Can you share with us a resource or an app that we can use to help grow our own self-care practice?
Kristy J Jones: It's interesting because many of the apps that are out there, umm, many of them that I use are social media based but there is, umm, there is one, umm, and it's relatively traditional if you think about it, and I find that it's about Holy Bible. Being able to go ahead and have that on, umm, your phone, being able to refer to it and there's plans that you can you know work through. They are short, umm, devotionals and then they will lead you to directly to a Bible verse, that seems to be my go to. And, you know, some people may use that, some people may not use that. There are a wide variety of different from traditional non traditional type of self-care that bring back to that stability that resources are available. And being able to go ahead and really share you know what's really important to me and it keeps me grounded. Because there's a lot, I feel like there's a lot of noise. Like I said, I was in social media, that we can become entangled and, OK, what is it that God wants me to go ahead and do. That's it allows me to go ahead and go back to being grounded.
Gillian Rose: What book are you reading right now?
Kristy J Jones: Sitting in my office and I'm looking around, and I'm like, which one of my reading right now. I think I have like 3 or 4 of them going right now.
Gillian Rose: Which one relates most to self-love?
Kristy J Jones: Right now I'm actually reading Eat that Frog. It's on time management and it really allows me to go ahead and figure out what I need to go ahead and do vs being, it involves a wide variety of different things. And I think there will be very very insightful to go out and see how I can learn to manage, to manage my day and go ahead and take that bite of that very first Frog, the first thing in the morning. Being able to learn how to do things yet, I rather go ahead and procrastinate about but being able to go ahead and get that done so that I can enjoy rest of my day.
Gillian Rose: Definitely. I just recently found out that was a book and my British friend had been talking about, "Eating that frog". I thought it was a British saying. So, I went up to like 10 British people and I asked like "what is eat that frog means?" And they're like "I don't know what you're talking about here". And I found out about it's a book. But that's great for practical self-care time management. Definitely. Kristy, I have one last question for you. What is the one thing that you are most passionate about?
Kristy J Jones: It's being able to go ahead and help women find their purpose. I think that we get wrapped up in being a mom being in, you know, for me it was Kristy the banker and not really knowing who my identity was and the environments, that many of the environments that we work in, we forget about who we are and what's important to us and being able to go back to self-care, being in corporate. When I worked in corporate I had no idea what self-care was and being able to go ahead and really fill our cups ourselves. So we're able to go ahead and give to other people, and being able to go ahead and find their passion, to help other women be able to go ahead and to move forward to help them fill their cup. I think it's really the key.
Gillian Rose: All right. All you dreamers out there, you can find links to these resources and everything else we've been chatting about in today's episode by going to juststaycurious.com/KristyJones. Kristy, thank you for sharing your journey and your lessons with us. Can you give us a last parting message? Share the best way we can find you and then we'll say good bye.
Kristy J Jones: Sure. You can find me on Facebook. Kristy Jane Jone. You can also find me at my web site www.KristyJones.co. Look forward to catching up with you soon.
Gillian Rose: Kristy our listeners can find links to everything about We mentioned that in today's episode by going to juststaycurious.com, clicking the podcast tab and finding you in the archives or just enter Kristy Jones and the search bar and the show notes will pop right up. Kristy thank you for being so generous with your time and your story. As always just stay curious!
Why do you think self-love is important?
Self-love is I think is really important. It's about who, it's about accepting ourselves. And it's the basis of Mankind. And being able to go ahead and you can't give from an empty heart. And if your heart is full you're able to go ahead and give more. And I think self-love is just a way of being able to go ahead and fill yourself up.
What was the one thing that was holding you back from accepting self love?
I have such high expectations for myself. I’ve been using the hashtag grace over guilt. Giving myself more grace and less guilt allows me to move forward.
Who is one person who has changed your life for the better?
But I would have to say my dad. I never thought I would have an adult relationship that I have with my dad now. If you'd asked me a year ago two years ago, it was fraught with, he always, he's always loved us. But, there's been a lot of healing that happened to recognize that he'd do anything for us.
What is the best advice you have ever received?
Brené Brown talks about being uncomfortable and vulnerable with people. Being able to go ahead and be authentic, and realize that “No” is a complete sentence.
Can you share with us a self-care habit that you practice regularly?
I go to bed at a certain time and I wake up at a certain time each morning.
I do reading in the morning, then spend time journaling.
Do you have a favorite quote?
“An original is hard to find but easy to recognize.”
Can you share with us a resource or an app that we can use to help our own self care practice grow?
The Holy Bible on my phone.
What book are you reading right now?
What is the one thing that you are most passionate about?
Being able to go ahead and help women find their purpose.
About This Guest:
Kristy helps high-performing women achieve time and financial freedom by educating them on how to build viable businesses. Her corporate banking and strategic planning skills allow for her to guide you down a path that promotes growth and diversity in the marketplace. Having spent 15 years in various financial institutions working with a number of different business owners, she understands the business planning process.
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>> Soul Planning Practical People- A Desire Map Experience.
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>> Corporate -> Entrepreneur Transitions.
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